Some couples prefer using unique, personally-written vows, while others find more traditional and mainstream vows a better fit for their weddings.

Your Own Vows. If you are doing your own vows, consider following these basic guidelines:

• Vows should only be 2-3 minutes in length, because they are a public expression of your love and not a private conversation between you and your fiancé(e).
• Sharing details that are too intimate often makes your family and friends feel embarrassed. Try to leave those out.
• Be concise, avoid redundancies and remember that less is often more.
• Be sincere and try to have your words come from your heart.
• Make a decision on whether both of you will be using the same vows or different.  If different, try to make them of similar lengths.
• Discuss your vows in advance with your officiant and edit the wording if necessary.
• Practice reading your vows out loud, correct what sounds awkward.
• Consider using some of the typical words used in ceremonies, such as “love,” “promise,” “support,” “cherish,” “commit,” etc.

Writing Your Own Vows. Try to get started a few months in advance. You will want to make your vows beautiful and memorize them well. To generate creative ideas talk to your fiancé about what marriage really means to you and how you envision your future together (do this over a romantic dinner for example). Talk about how you met and when you fell in love and describe your feelings. Ask each other the following questions:

• What inspires you about each other?
• What characteristics does each of you bring out in one another?
• What do you look most forward to in your life together?
• How did your life change after you met each other and what make your love unique? 

For more inspiration refer to poems, movies or music that touched your heart in the past. Some of the songs this site suggests for ceremony and reception have wonderful, unforgettable and romantic lyrics, which you could use to enhance your feelings (also see quotes on the right).

Here is an example of personal vows that incorporated a quote:

Bride: It's been said that love is space and time as measured by the heart.

Groom: Today, we begin a new life together, united by love that has transcended distance, a love that will see us through the great journey of a lifetime, the journey through time.

Bride: We undertake that journey together as a new being, no longer two, but one.

Groom: Jen, I offer you my heart, my life, my faith; may our love be without measure through measureless time.

Bride: Jim, I offer you my heart, my life, my faith may our love be without measure through measureless time.

Traditional Vows. Some of the more traditional and popular vows, which you may use in your ceremony, include the following:

The Book of Common Prayer:

I, (name), take thee, (name), to be my wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do we part, according to God's holy ordinance; thereto I plight thee my troth.

Suggested Lutheran marriage vow:

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my (husband/wife), and these things I promise you: I will be faithful to you and honest with you; I will respect, trust, help, and care for you; I will share my life with you; I will forgive you as we have been forgiven; and I will try with you better to understand ourselves, the world, and God; through the best and the worst of what is to come as long as we live.

The Book of Common Prayer:

I, (name), take thee, (name), to be my wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do we part, according to God's holy ordinance; thereto I plight thee my troth.

Suggested Lutheran marriage vow:

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my (husband/wife), and these things I promise you: I will be faithful to you and honest with you; I will respect, trust, help, and care for you; I will share my life with you; I will forgive you as we have been forgiven; and I will try with you better to understand ourselves, the world, and God; through the best and the worst of what is to come as long as we live.

Episcopal Church exchange of vows:

Groom: In the name of God, I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

Bride: In the name of God, I, (name), take you, (name), to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

U.S. alternatives for vows within the Roman Catholic tradition:

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

I, (name), take you, (name), for my lawful (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. 

United Methodist Church declaration of consent:

Officiant: Christ calls you into union with him and with one another. I ask you now in the presence of God and this congregation to declare your intent. Will you have this man to be your husband, to live together in a holy marriage? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all other, be faithful to him as long as you both shell live?

Bride: I will.

Officiant: Will you have this woman to be your wife, to live together in a holy marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health, and forsaking all other, be faithful to her as long as you both shell live?

Groom: I will.

In Jewish wedding ceremonies, the groom's words to the bride as he places a wedding ring on her finger after both have drunk from a cup of blessed wine:

Behold, you are consecrated unto me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and of Israel.

Pledge of couples during traditional Hindu wedding (a sample):

Let us take the fourth step, to acquire knowledge, happiness, and harmony by mutual love and trust. (other steps to follow). Finally, let us take the seventh step and become true companions and remain lifelong partners by this wedlock.

Muslim wedding vow (a sample):

I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you and helpful/obedient and faithful husband/wife.

Traditional Quaker vows:

In the presence of God and these our friends I, (name), take thee, (name) to be my (husband/wife), promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful (husband/wife) so long as we both shall live.

Russian Orthodox wedding vow:

I, (name), take you, (name), as my wedded (wife/husband) and I promise you love, honor, and respect; to be faithful to you, and not to forsake you until death do us part. So help me God, on in the Holy Trinity, and all the Saints.

Exchange of vows in standard civic ceremony (a sample):

(Name), I take you to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife). Before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for you for as long as we both shall live. I take and care for you for as long as we both shall live. I take you with your faults and your strengths. I will help you when you need help, and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.

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